Frequently Asked Questions
Is your synagogue affiliated with a governing authority that creates Halachic rulings and decisions regarding minhagim (customs)?
Regarding Messianic Jewish halacha, Mayim Chayim utilizes the guidelines of the MJRC (Messianic Jewish Rabbinic Counsel) to ensure our standards of Torah observance are kosher, responsible, and vetted through the lens of our Master Rabbi Yeshua of Nazareth when scripturally possible. We need to maintain continuity with today’s wider Jewish world since we value our sacred Jewish tradition.
Morevoer, the MJRC consists of ordained Rabbis and associates that promote a life of faithfulness to Hashem’s covenant among Jewish followers of Messiah Yeshua by providing realistic, practical, and responsible guidelines for Messianic Jewish observance. The core mission of the MJRC is to define, clarify, and foster standards of practice for Messianic Jewish clergy and community members who seek to honor and preserve Jewish life and custom with the integrity that it deserves.
My wife and I are expecting a baby girl. Do you perform Simchat Bat (Baby Girl Naming Service)?
Centuries ago, a brit milah was the only official baby-naming rite of passage; however, in modern times, the demand for Egalitarian customs began developing in liberal and modern Orthodox circles to celebrate the birth of a baby girl on her eighth day of life. As you mentioned, the service is called Simchat Bat (rejoicing of a daughter), or parallel to Brit Milah is Brit Bat (a daughter of the covenant). Since this minhag is commonplace in the broader Jewish world today, and since it is a direct parallel to Brit Milah, appropriately symbolizing the welcoming of the baby girl into Hashem’s covenant with the Jewish people, it is an honor to perform this critical rite of passage for girls.
Can you describe a typical Brit Bat ceremony?
Since there is no official standard Brit Bat practice in Judaism, we have flexibility with this one. It depends on what the parents want. However, we do have an example order of service we can share with you based on what seems to be normative practice, and we can go from there. A Brit Bat ceremony could follow a similar structure to a Brit Milah service; first, we honor and bless Hashem, and then we bless the new baby girl and welcome her into the Abrahamic covenant with a series of traditional brachot. The brachot are typically read in Hebrew and English by the rabbi, parents, grandparents, and the congregation.
Historically, in near-eastern culture and Judaism, the naming of a child had a much deeper meaning than it does in our modern western society, that customarily names a child after a living or deceased relative, or because the parents like the meaning of the name, or they like the name in general. Contrarily, naming a child was thought to shape the contours of a person’s life and define his or her soul and destiny (JPS Guide, p. 14). In biblical times, there was a tight association between names and events or phenomena in the person’s life, for instance, Jacob (Ya’akov) comes from the root עַקֵב akev, which means “heel” in Hebrew, since he emerges from womb grasping his brother Esav’s heel. Similarly, his father Isaac receives his name because of the unfolding of events leading up to his birth. When Hashem tells Abraham and Sarah they are going to bear a child in their old age, Sarah’s reaction is dismay and laugher, so the child is named Isaac (יִצְחָק Yitzhak in Hebrew), deriving from the root צְחַק Y’tzak, to laugh. With the help of the rabbi, the parents can share their reflections concerning the meaning behind their daughter’s Hebrew name, and why they chose it.
With so many Jews turning to cremation, why still officiate funerals according to Jewish customs?
A mentor of mine says: “every bride is beautiful, and all the dead are holy.” If we had to find one single point that Judaism unanimously agrees on, it is that death is a tragedy. In the Tenakh, the birth of a child and living to a ripe old age is considered the highest blessing, and when notable figures of the bible are dying, their families accompany them. “When Jacob finished commanding his sons, he drew up his feet into the bed and breathed his last and was gathered to his people” (Genesis 49:33, ESV). Moreover, their place of burial is no small matter. Note how the Patriarch insisted that his descendants bury him in the land of Canaan
“And when the time drew near that Israel must die, he called his son Joseph and said to him, ‘If now I have found favor in your sight, put your hand under my thigh and promise to deal kindly and truly with me. Do not bury me in Egypt, 30 but let me lie with my fathers. Carry me out of Egypt and bury me in their burying place.’ He answered, ‘I will do as you have said.’” (Genesis 47:29-30, ESV). Moreover, the right to a proper burial was significant to the Patriarchs, a tremendous success and blessing, while dying without an adequate burial was the antithesis – a curse, tragic, or the hand of G-d’s judgment.
Even the loss of a single life is a tragedy in Judaism, for the rabbi’s said, “whoever destroys a single life is considered by Scripture to have destroyed the whole world, and whoever saves a single life is considered by Scripture to have saved the whole world” (Sanhedrin 37a). If there is a silver lining, it is that the Jewish tradition is tremendously useful and beneficial regarding mourning the dead, grieving, and coping with tragic losses of life. Dealing with death, unfortunately, is something that the Jewish tradition has much first-hand experience. In these challenging times, with G-d’s help, we can draw from the depths of our rich heritage for help in our time of need.
Jewish tradition is all about preserving life and treating the dead with dignity and respect in honor of the life and legacy of the deceased. The body of the deceased is not a piece of meat; it is the wondrous work of the Creator. “Every bride is beautiful, and all the dead are holy.” With these points in mind, it is with great honor that Mayim Chayim is here to comfort those mourn.
Which Jewish lifecycle events do you officiate?
We officiate Brit Milah, Simchat Bat, Bnei Mitzvah, Tevilat Mashiach, Marriage, and Funerals. The rabbi is available to officiate a Hebrew memorial service for Jewish and interfaith families, as well as non-Jewish individuals that chose to cast their lot among the Jewish people during their lifetime. Please contact us through this website to discuss options, details, and associated fees. For circumcision, we are happy to work with a mohel of your choice, or we can recommend somebody.
Does your synagogue provide Bnei Mitzvah training, and if so, how does it work?
With an Egalitatain approach, Mayim Chayim is committed to boys and girls for Bar/Bat Mitzvah (lit., “son of the commandment”) is a rite of passage traditionally held on a boy’s 13th birthday (12 for girls). The rabbi will set up a meeting to evaluate your child’s specific needs and design a comprehensive plan that will prepare your child for this monumental event.
How long is Bnei Mitzvah preparation, and what specifically will my child learn?
One or two years before the 13th birthday (12 for girls), the rabbi will assign the Torah and haftarah portion to begin the process of learning Torah and Biblical Hebrew. Bnei Mitzvah preparation consists of memorizing the Hebrew aleph-bet, reading biblical Hebrew, learning trope, shaliach tzibur training, and leyning Torah. As a shaliach tzibur, the student will also learn the siddur and cantorial basics to gain proficiency for leading Shacharit service. Finally, in the Mishnah, the earliest compilation of the Talmud, it says: “On three things the world stands: on Torah, Avodah (prayer), and gemilut chasadim (deeds of lovingkindness)” (Pirkei Avot 1:2). Therefore, during the Bnei Mitzvah process, we will focus on these three keys – Torah study, keva (routine) and kevanah (spontaneous, intentional) tefillah (prayer), and gemilut chasadim.
I am Jewish, but I have come to realization Yeshua is the Messiah of Israel. What do I do now?
For Jews, coming to terms with our Yeshua faith is a huge step that requires courage. With the more liberal branches of Judaism and intermarriages on the rise, we should expect to experience less resistance in the Jewish world for Jews who claim to believe in Jesus, but this is not usually the case. Nevertheless, being forthright about our Yeshua-faith can result in family and community ostracization, forfeiting rights and privileges at traditional shul, and a refusal to being counted as part of a minyan. Despite such a significant loss, those of us who choose to risk everything to follow our Jewish Messiah intuitively and deeply understand it is the only way for us to proceed. “I consider all things to be loss in comparison to the surpassing value of the knowledge of Messiah Yeshua my Lord” (Philippians 3:8, TLV).
Lastly, coming to faith in Yeshua is a miracle for any Jew, and we at Mayim Chayim are here to support you every step of the way. We aim to provide a safe place where Jews and interfaith families meet together to worship the G-d of Israel through Yeshua in Jewish space, and to protect Jewish believers from assimilation and the subsequent degradation of their Jewish identity. We model and encourage Jews to live out their Yeshua-faith in the context of a Yeshua-centered authentic Jewish lifestyle.
Now that I have openly shared with my family that Yeshua is the Messiah, I want to receive baptism, but I am afraid that it will signify the end of my Jewishness.
You ask a great question about Tevilat Mashiach (Messiah immersion). At Mayim Chayim, our orientation is toward keeping Hashem’s mitzvot, and since according to the Hebrew scriptures, the Messiah shares the name of G-d, we are obliged to keep Messiah’s mitzvot just the same. Contrary to the dogmatic assertion derived from a radical perversion and reversal of Tevilat Mashiach’s true meaning by early Christians entrusted with it, Tevilat Mashiach is a mitzvah and a critical rite of passage that outwardly symbolizes an inward spiritual reality – the decision to follow Yeshua. Once we have concluded that Yeshua is indeed the Messiah of Israel, Tevilat Mashiach is the most authentically Jewish thing we can do.
What does my child have to learn to fulfill the custom of Bnei Mitzvah?
Your child will build the skills necessary to perform minhagim within the synagogue structure, davening (traditional prayer), Biblical Hebrew, and fulfilling daily mitzvot, which is incumbent on every Jew. Moreover, the child will develop skills and competency in Jewish religious life and culture, within a Messianic Jewish framework that consists of Yeshua as the centerpiece to prepare the child for a lifetime of service to Hashem. At Mayim Chayim, we do not perceive Bnei Mitzvah as a one and done process, nor do we endorse mere memorization of these concepts only to be cast off after the big event. The rabbi’s vision is to work alongside the family to ensure proper transmission and internalization of faith and minhagim, hence the importance of family meetings during the process. The generational and communal transfer of our authentic Messianic Jewish faith and tradition is a holy endeavor, and we treat it with the utmost care and respect.
In Messianic Judaism, we see the rabbinic tradition is our heritage, and we seek to practice it with Yeshua front and center. Rabbi Dr. Mark Kinzer eloquently summarizes it this way: “Messianic Judaism involves more than the subtle tweaking of an existing form of Jewish life and thought—adding a few elements required by faith in Yeshua and subtracting a few elements incompatible with that faith. Instead, the Judaism we have inherited—and continue to practice—is entirely bathed in the bright light of Yeshua’s revelation. In a circular and dynamic interaction, our Judaism provides us with the framework required to interpret Yeshua’s revelation even as” that revelation reconfigures it. In other words, our Judaism and our Yeshua-faith are organically and holistically integrated.
Do you consider marriage to be sacred?
Referring to the words of the Torah, a famous rabbi from Nazareth once said: “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what G-d has joined together, let no man tear apart” (Matthew 19:5-6)! One of my Rabbinic mentors once said, “I don’t do weddings, I do marriages.” Likewise, at Mayim Chayim, marriage is a holy endeavor, and the wedding is a “fulcrum in time” since it signifies the bonding of two souls and their respective families together as echad. To say that we take the marriage union seriously is an understatement – anything that is serious business to Hashem is critical to us.
Do you officiate Jewish weddings? Can you describe?
With that said, the marriage ceremony is undeniably the most climactic and pivotal time for a new couple, and we are here to serve you and assist you in any way we can. The Jewish wedding ceremony consists of two parts – Ay’rusin אירוסין (Betrothal), also called Kiddushin (sanctification), and Nissu’in – the consummation of the marriage. Ay’rusin takes place underneath the chupa (canopy), culminating in the transferring of the כַּלָה callah (bride) to her חָתָן chatan (husband) through the ring ceremony. To seal Ay’rusin, and effectively transition to Nissu’in, the consummation, the m’sader kiddushin (officiating rabbi) reads the Ketubah. Nussu’in consists of the seven benedictions, and the ceremony ends with a great crushing sound of the breaking of the glass under the חָתָן chatan’s right foot, as the assembly shouts mazel tov!